More about my progress

This is my post for Friday.

My husband has severe heart problems and is recovering slowly after several procedures in April. He is not allowed to work or drive until November, 2011. This is going to be a very hard and stressful summer. Another reason for wanting to change my eating habits is because I can see me eating my stress away. In fact, I found in the past month that I had food in my hand constantly.
I was always eating, snacking, and chomping on something.

Fridays are our days to clean (or I should say my day to ......) and run errands. I got up around 6 because the dogs are ready to go out around that time. My husband sleeps through their whimpers of wanting to go out. I started cleaning and had planned to finish around 11. He had mentioned that he wanted to to go IHOP for breakfast. I can not be fearful of restaurants that could offer bad choices. So we went. I had weighed when I got up and the scales displayed 227.8! So I felt that I could manage this decision with ease.

I ordered one egg, two pieces of bacon, two pancakes, and tea. I did use syrup. We went to Sam's, then to Best Buy and purchased him a new computer, got gas and came home. I continued to wash clothes and started setting up his computer. That is the extent of my energy level. I was tired. I tried to lay down but that didn't help.

Around 5 I told Billy that I was hungry. I told him that I needed to eat a chicken breast and a salad. The places I thought he would suggest did not pass his lips. He said let's go to Sal's, an Italian restaurant. This was another choice I was not happy with. So off we go.

As I was staring at the menu I thought, heck with it, I'll just get anything. I was angry because I feel like he does not listen to me. If I had suggested another place he would have developed an attitude and I really try to avoid those situations. I kept scanning the menu, my mind going back and forth. Finally I ordered a large Italian salad that had ham and cheese on it. I did eat two rolls. Tea again.

Later on that night I was hungry and I could feel myself wanting to grab everything in sight. I did eat a nutty buddy and a cookie. Not sure how my body will respond to my choices of the day. I know I am not happy with my choices.

The first day is always the hardest

The other night we had gone out to dinner and I ate, and ate, and ate. I was so full that I couldn't get up from my seat. I felt horrible. All the way home I kept thinking that this was night right. My husband was very ill and here I was basically killing myself with food. I love to eat. I love to eat all the wrong things. Healthy foods do not appeal to me at all.

As I sat down the feeling of fullness kept nagging at me. Surely by now I would feel some relief from stuffing myself, but it didn't. I felt worse. I looked at my husband and said, "I need to lose some weight, I feel horrible." All he could say is "I didn't tell you to eat that whole bag of sunflower seeds." I think what I was looking for were encouraging words but they did not come. That was Wednesday.

Thursday morning I woke up and said "this is it." I love Coke but decided to give it up for awhile. I weighed myself and the scales said 230.02, the most I have ever weighed in my life. We eat out a lot because I hate to cook. There is something about having someone wait on me or have someone hand it over that is satisfying to me. Wow, 230 pounds.

So I began by going to McDonalds's. It's either McDonalds or Hardees for me in the morning. I ordered oatmeal without the fruit because I am not a big fruit lover. I ordered an unsweetened ice tea with sweet and low. That I can handle. Lunch was a chicken club from Chic fil a and a small salad.

For dinner I met my friend, Kathy at Firebirds. I ordered the plain chicken breast and green beans. I ate half of what was on the plate. My beverage choice for the whole day was tea.

This was a hard day because my mind was conscience of what I was ordering and eating.

Hopefully I will see some results in weighing and blogging every day. I can not weigh every day because I like to see the results. I plan to blog each day (and there are several reasons for that), make food choices (either good or bad), and weigh to see if I go up or down, hopefully I will go down.